I Know it's Mad
by AppleCoreCandyBox
Summary: People ask me all the time why I watch the clouds as much as I do. Shikacentric.


People ask me all the time why I watch the clouds as much as I do.

And I always hand over an excuse to whoever's asking. I tell whoever's asking that it's relaxing. That it helps me think. I tell them why not. Why not just watch the clouds?

Whoever's asking (doesn't) always nod without hesitation.

I think they accept my reasons because of who I am. I'm a ninja, a proclaimed genius no less. It's natural that they assume it's normal that I'm (a little) off.

I never tell them the truth though. Sure, it is sort of relaxing, and it does sometimes help me think, and I also sometimes just do it for the sheer fact of just watching. But those are onlysometimes.

Most times I watch the clouds with a pulsing envy in my gut. Sometimes I watch them in hatred. Ok, maybe my bitter feelings aren't that sever, but I do hold (some) resentment toward them.

I know. It's ridiculous that I'm pissed off at water vapor that floats by in the sky. By most anyone's standards it's weird. I get it.

But I can't help but feel that it's a little unfair for everyone on their part. The clouds, that is.

They float around with not a care in the world, silently a part of (but never participating in) a hugely psychotic world. They can watch all the pain that takes place beneath them, but they never actually have to experience it. They don't have to understand what it means to bleed, to cry, or to agonize. They don't even have to understand what it means to die.

When I've run myself clean out of any breath, the earth will eat me back up. But the clouds…they'll form again eventually.

How trouble free would a life like that be?

Never know death. Have only to witness evil as if it were a bad movie. Not a damn worry in the whole world. I want that more than anything.

That's why I watch the clouds. That's why I resent (hate) them, envy them. They are what I can never be in this life time.

Free. Free from being human. From having to feel all the ugliness and troublesome things I have to see everyday.

I resent (hate) clouds, but I watch them anyways because it's the only thing I can (want to) do. They remind me of what I am.

I'm human. I bleed, cry, agonize, and one day will die and either be burnt to ashes or left to rot back into the soil. They remind me I have responsibilities, I can't just float about all day (though I wish I could).

People ask me all the time why I watch the clouds as much as I do.

I've never told a single whoever's asking the (whole) truth.

--

_Clouds are marching along, singing a song, just like they do.  
If the clouds were singing a song, I'd sing along, wouldn't you too?  
If you just knew what they could do.  
Oh, if you just knew, what would they do?  
And if the birds are just hollow words flying along, singing a song,  
What would they do?  
If they just knew what they could do.  
Oh, if they just knew._

_I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather,  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather,  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
No, it never gave a damn about me._

_I know it's mad, but if I go to hell  
Will you come with me or just leave?  
I know it's mad, but if the world were ending  
Would you kiss me or just leave me?  
Just leave me?_

_Clouds are singing a song, marching along, just like they do.  
If the clouds were playing a song, I'd play along, wouldn't you too?  
If you just knew what they could do.  
Oh, if you just knew, what would they do?  
And if words are just hollow birds, flying along, singing a song,  
What would they do?  
If they just knew what we could do.  
Oh, if they just knew._

_I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather,  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather,  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
No, it never gave a damn about me._

_I know it's mad, but if I go to hell (I know it's mad)  
Will you come with me or just leave?  
I know it's mad, but if the world were ending (I know it's mad)  
Would you kiss me or just leave me?  
Just leave me?_

_I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather,  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather,  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather, (I know it's sad)  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
I know it's sad that I never gave a damn about the weather, (I know it's so, so sad)  
And it never gave a damn about me.  
No, it never gave a damn about me. (so, so sad)_

**Do You Know What I'm Seeing? **By Panic! At the Disco


End file.
